Here are a few jokes that tickled me.......
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy"
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese and there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad......or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu, but I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.
Two fish are in a tank
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh1t before.
Hope you enjoy!!